I don’t know, man, maybe she just was like “teehee I have a blank Google docs that needs to get to 18,000 words, what should I say?” Maybe she truly just had no agenda and was feeling incendiary for some reason. Love your hair, Heather, can’t wait to have this book be talked about next season. I never imagined in a million years that my little book would be even on the radar of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," Gay says. She infused the book with pop culture for a reason I feel bad writing my overwhelmingly negative opinions about this because Heather is rad on television. Is she my least favorite of the cast that has been one of the main characters for all three seasons?…maybe. But if I ever saw her walking the same sidewalk I was walking, you bet I’d be shouting MOTHER and asking for a self-timed, street lamp propped up phone photo. But really, only read this if you want to…not enjoy your leisure reading? Below, Gay opens up rediscovering herself outside of the church, how Mormonism still informs her life, and where she stands with her castmates.

I felt peace. I felt calm. I felt more like myself and closer to God in that theater than I had felt over the past sixteen months of prayer-filled, scripture-filled missionary service. No prior feeling in France compared to the tranquility I had while cloaked in the sanctity of the theater watching the iceberg sink the ship. Mormons don’t speak (secrets) to each other. We don’t discuss it with our parents. We don’t discuss it with our children. We have secrets that spouses keep from each other, husbands never disclosed certain oaths to their wives,” Gay continues.

There was no distance, she says, between her life and the memoir, especially as she was writing events in real time as they unfolded. As a result, her three teenage daughters have been involved “since day one,” and have read the book.

There are a lot of good people, solid values, the church’s focus on families, similarities to the Savior’s authentic gospel, most importantly baptism (although 8 is questionable and debatable…Catholics take this to a whole new level), the sacrament (which is for everyone and not something you take away from people nor hold over one’s head nor a moment to humiliate young men when they misread the prayers…such a pet peeve especially for something that is personal and symbolic) and the teachings and depictions of a gentle savior can be reason enough to hang on (or at least not remove your name from the records) even if you have to get up and leave half the time or pass on your D&C lessons to someone else but Heather Gay really didn’t seem to have a broken shelf and just gives off a lot of self confusion (book and show). She wasn’t ready for any of this imo. Her lovingly but overkill use of LDS jargon, love of her faith, wanting to form a choir and sing LDS songs (the show) and repeated hymn quotes gives her heart away. Either that, or she is just another victim to that soul crushing reality, Mormon fear/guilt. And just like Gay, I also grappled with a painful, yearslong process of breaking with ancestral tradition and leaving the church. In her new book, Bad Mormon, out now, she blows that process wide open. Reality TV memoirs are a cottage industry with varying degrees of literary merit, but Gay’s book has major stakes: In tracing her journey from aspiring housewife to capital-H Housewife, she writes about Mormonism’s sacred rituals in manner that is not only grounds for excommunication in the church but also risks ostracization from the entire community she held dear for so long. Leaving the church was a leap she says she couldn’t have made without Bravo’s cameras, which offered a chance to start over that was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. “There was no gray area, no in between,” Gay, 48, writes in the book. “You could choose Hollywood, but you’d have to give up heaven. You can’t have both. With cameras in my face, my hand would be forced in one direction or the other.” I've read every Housewives book -- and I've yet to find an audiobook version available. I wonder if this is the new trend, or if this book is expected to be more popular than others. Either way, BAD MORMON is worth a listen. Heather does an okay job of reading (although it is clear this is not a skill possesses; and, to be fair, I'm comparing her to the GOATS of reading audio books: Pamela Anderson, Anderson Cooper, Selma Blair). Gay did a good job selecting moments of her life to illustrate her arguments, except when it came to her marriage. She talks about her incompatibility with her husband but only gives one example from her honeymoon, a story that wasn't powerful enough to represent her point. As a reader, I wanted a few more details, but, as a woman, I respect her choice not to drag on the father of her children. I distinctly remember when I went through the temple before my mission. I had gone through the Sunday School class called Temple Prep. I had sat down with my parents the night before. And even as I crossed the threshold for the first time into the temple, I remember thinking, “What if they sacrifice a live animal or something?”We spend our whole lives being taught that you can never succeed once you leave the church. Yet, here you are, being blessed with all this “worldly” success. You’ve arguably become one of the most famous people at the moment to be associated with Utah and Mormonism. How do you grapple with that dichotomy? I have been kind of in this box my whole life, and I’ve been striving to be seen and be heard. It’s really in these last few weeks of the book coming out, reading the audiobook and looking at my story from tip to tail that I can see how much I’ve been striving for someone to not discredit my story and my experience,” she says. She ‘never imagined’ her book would land on the radar of the Mormon Church How has the show and all the experiences you’ve gone through over the past few years helped you reawaken those parts of yourself? Because for me, it’s very much a constant, ongoing process, and I can’t imagine doing it with so many eyes on you. Drinking and Tweeting meets Unorthodox in this vulnerable memoir about The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star’s departure from the Mormon Church, and her unforeseen success in business, television, and single motherhood.