In June 2009 I emerged from a meditation retreat that had lasted four years. It was an intensive programme alongside 20 other monks, in a remote old farmhouse on the Isle of Arran in Scotland. We were completely cut off from the outside world, with no phones, Internet or newspapers. Food was brought in by a caretaker who lived outside the walls of the retreat and we had a strict schedule of between 12 and 14 hours’ meditation per day, mostly practised alone in our rooms. This programme went on in the same way every day for four years. We were allowed to talk a little to each other at mealtimes or in the short breaks between sessions, but things intensified in the second year, when we took a vow of silence for five months. Thubten talks about the absolute importance of Interdependence (depending on each instead of ourselves). How working as one improves the flow of Oxycontin. How empathy only gets you so far so practising compassionate behaviour is vital to improving all of our daily interactions. What you will be able to achieve if you learn to forgive yourself and others. Increasing your self confidence and your confidence in others too. Pulling all of these aspects into short (10-15 min) meditation sessions that will lower stress and give you more time to be happy. GT writing is genuine, with heart and understanding, and is a far departure from some of the condescending and basic run-throughs of meditation I have experienced in the past.

We begin our conversation talking about distraction and addiction, two states that are very closely linked. When we distract ourselves by scrolling, overeating, or drinking for example, says Thubten, we’re pushing away emotional pain or discomfort – even if we may not realise it. But the discomfort is really in the pushing. If we can learn instead to sit with what’s making us uncomfortable, those emotions start to transform. Put into perspective, if we haven't gently trained our mind to be aware in the present moment, all these other things are more or less escapist in nature. A Monk's Guide to Happiness: Meditation in the 21st Century" is striking in its simplicity, a well-informed and gently presented exploration of the nature of happiness and how to bring the practice of meditation into our busy 21st century lives. Author Gelong Thubten is a Buddhist monk, meditation teacher, and author who turned to a Buddhist monastery 25 years ago despite, or perhaps because of, living a fast-paced life with much success that many would respect and mire. In this profound and inspiring book, Gelong Thubten presents a practical and sustainable approach to happiness, and how meditation and mindfulness can help us get there.Many people think that meditation is about stilling or quieting the mind, and they feel their minds are too active and busy to even try. But the amount of thoughts we have makes no difference to our meditation; it’s not about clearing or blanking out the mind, or going into a trance—that will simply not work and has no real value. Meditation changes our relationship with our thoughts and emotions; it is not aimed at getting rid of them.

We seem to assume that happiness, and suffering too, come to us from “outside.” Surely, however, it is our thoughts and reactions that are the real defining factors. Furthermore, if it’s the case that two or more people don’t always find that the same things make them happy or unhappy, then it means we are talking about a mental experience within us, not the things around us. I’ve found that many people seek a kind of happiness which is a fleeting sensation: a ‘high’—an injection-like bolt of energy,” he writes. “Yet this never seems to last, and when they no longer experience that high, they crave it again.” You Are Hard-Wired to Be Happy: Use This to Be Happy As Often As Possible Feeling Good in the “Instant Happiness” Culture

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As we saw in chapter one, genuine happiness is really a state of freedom. Being free is the one thing we humans care about most—we don’t want to be controlled by others, and we know that we deserve the freedom to do or be whatever we want; this is something we fight hard for, and as a society we have won some important battles. We live in a world of choices, where in many (unfortunately not all) areas of the world, we can dress, speak, and think however we want. It’s a “free society,” but are we ever truly free? We’d like to think we are “freethinking” individuals, but our minds are not really that free at all. Gelong Thubten's wonderful book provides a bracing challenge to our search for instant gratification and "instant" happiness, and a lucid, practical, step-by-step path to contentment and a genuine and lasting peace of mind.' The state of happiness isn’t something ephemeral—isn’t a hit of dopamine in the brain. The state of happiness, he says, is an enduring state of completeness, a state of peace, a state of no more striving and no more fear. The easiest way to practice the first step is to anchor your mind to your breath. I learned from the Headspace app that it helps to count the breaths up to 10, then start over. In other words, we feel content. We don’t wish for anything we don’t already have – whether it’s a material object, experience or circumstance. For instance, we wouldn’t think, “If only I had that shiny new device or had a better job, then I’d be happy.” We’re already satisfied, so whatever is happening in the present moment is enough.

Thubten is able to explain meditation using clear language and an approach which really speaks to our modern tech-infused lives. With openness, humility and humour he delivers a deep message that will resonate in our modern culture.' Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.One of the true joys of "A Monk's Guide to Happiness" is that Thubten structures the book in such a way that it really reinforces his own belief in starting with meditation simply and growing into it with discipline. As he writes about the various aspects of meditation, he ends each ch The fact that many, perhaps most or even all the rules, suggestions, statements made by Monk Gelong Thubten are familiar and come from Aristotle, Buddha or some other illustrious predecessors – perhaps even contemporary luminaries – could detract for some from the ‘value added’, but it might also become an exercise in How to Become a Millionaire, only knowing the answers is much more important and this book could indeed serve as a guide, in the sense that you can go to it and find some definitions you know, rehearse the art of renouncing craving – which the stoics have long ago stigmatized…there is no end to wanting things, you experience what is called Hedonic Adaptation and after a brief period, you get used with things, be they big cars, jewels, and then carve for more…it is not money affluence, it is time affluence which matters and then “A man's satisfaction with his salary depends on whether he makes more than his wife's sister's husband’ says jesting, sage H.L. Menke…in conclusion, I would rather recommend another book on happiness, such as the miraculous Happiness – the Science Behind Your Smile by Daniel Nettle

Our deep potential for happiness and freedom also exists at a physical level. It is no longer seen as a mystical belief, but is being discussed within neuroscience; it is now regarded as neurological fact. The work of late neuroscientist Candace Pert was particularly interesting in this field. Pert was the pioneer who discovered opioid receptors and endorphins (the body’s natural chemicals used to free us from pain), which led her to famously state: “We are hardwired for bliss.” Our natural state is to feel good—we are built for happiness. And even if you do end up getting it, your satisfaction won’t last long. Soon you’ll be habitually looking to the next thing that you think will make you happy. Lesson 3: Meditation is the pathway to inner peace and contentment, and you can develop it with daily practice in any situation. In HANDBOOK FOR HARD TIMES Sunday Times bestselling author of A Monk's Guide to Happiness Gelong Thubten teaches us to understand that happiness, kindness and resilience can be cultivated through reframing life's difficulties as opportunities for transformation. Meditation and mindfulness practices help us to access deep reserves of inner strength as we learn how to 'lean into' our suffering. Thubten suggests how we can find meaning in pain and discomfort, transforming deeply ingrained patterns of fear and resistance. This approachable and practical book, complete with meditations, is designed for modern times, and will be a valuable resource to anyone during times of struggle, but also during all times to encourage and build resilience and help us find inner contentment and peace. I think many people see meditation as simply a way to reduce stress, but it is actually a method for connecting with our essence, which is complete freedom and happiness. One of the Tibetan words for meditation is “ gom,” which literally means “to become familiar with,” and so we are making friends with our awareness, that ability to observe.

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Thubten, on the other hand, was miserable and in a downward spiral mentally and physically. The result has been a life journey often centered around the nature of happiness and the teaching of meditation around the world. In fact, the proceeds from his writing goes to benefit the establishment of meditation centers. In ancient texts on meditation one often finds metaphors in which the mind is compared to the sky, and our thoughts and emotions to the clouds. The sky is limitless, vast, and without center or edges. Within the sky there are all kinds of clouds—heavy storm clouds, cotton wool–like clouds, thin, wispy cirrus clouds, and so on. These are all a natural part of the sky, but the sky is bigger. In a similar way, meditation teachings describe the pristine openness and spaciousness of the mind’s awareness, which is greater than the comings and goings of the thoughts and emotions.